Honey, I shrunk the Dragonslayer...
by Ginga
Summary: Folken's invention doesn't have the desired effect.
1. Default Chapter

Honey, I Shrunk the Dragonslayer…  
By Ginga!  
  
  
Author's Note: I just couldn't resist this idea. The mental images I got from imagining this are just so   
KAWAII!! ^_^  
  
  
Folken stood in front of the small audience, which included Van, Allen, Hitomi, and Merle. He cleared   
his throat, and motioned to the large object covered in a heavy cloth that was sitting to the right of him.   
"My latest invention." He announced. "I call it my Super-duper-shrinker-dinker-ma-bob!" In one   
dramatic movement, he ripped the covering off the machine to reveal his gadget. The audience oohed and   
ahed, leaning closer for a better view of the contraption.  
Hitomi looked at the machine curiously. "What does it do, Folken?"  
Folken positioned himself behind the Super-duper-shrinker-dinker-ma-bob. "Well, when you aim   
it at an object," He swiveled the end of the invetion around. "And press this button-"  
Just then, Dilandau burst into the room, his Dragonslayers following closely. "Folken! How dare-  
" He was cut off abruptly as a blue beam from Folken's Super-duper-shrinker-dinker-ma-bob shot out,   
hitting the Dragonslayer captain and enveloping him.   
"Dilandau-sama!!" The Dragonslayers shrieked, their eyes wide with fear for their leader.  
The light soon faded away, leaving Dilandau, who had radically reduced in size.  
"Kami-sama!" Van gasped. "He's a chibi!"  
The tiny Dilandau looked around in bewilderment. "W-wha happened?"  
Hitomi clamped her hands to the side of her head. "Too…cute…system…overload…too…cu-"   
Her head exploded in a burst of flame, the rest of her closely following. Chibi Dilandau clapped his   
chubby lil' hands together. "Go BOOM!" He cried gleefully.  
Folken stood staring at the tiny captain of the Dragonslayers. "B-but…it…how…I…"  
Dilandau turned his minute attentions to Merle, and quickly made his way over to her. "Kitty-  
cat!" His small hands shot out and grabbed the cat-girl's tail, giving it a hearty tug.   
Merle yowled, trying to tug her tail back out of the maniacal chibi's grasp. "Lemme go!!!"  
Van managed to wrench the boy's hands off of Merle's tail, and the cat girl promptly bounded off,   
hissing angrily. The fanelian king looked down sternly at Dilandau. "No! Bad! You don't pull Merle's   
tail! Bad!"  
The chibi's eyes grew large and watery, his lower lip trembling. "I sorry." He whimpered.  
Van couldn't be angry at that face. "It's okay. Just don't do it again."  
Dilandau smiled in an incredibly kawaii way and started toddling around the room, but quickly   
tripped over the now too large armor he was wearing. Frowning, he pulled all of it off, save for the   
lavender shirt which looked like a dress on him. "Dat better!" He exclaimed, looking at himself in a   
mirror on the wall. Seeing the scar on his cheek, he frowned again, and walked back over to Van. He   
pointed a fat little finger at the scar. "You did." He accused.  
Van nodded, a little nervous as to what the chibi would try to do. The boy's reaction certainly   
surprised him.  
Dilandau's lip trembled once more, and small tears coursed down his chubby cheeks. "You put a   
boo-boo on my bootiful face."  
The levels of cute were too much to resist. "I'm sorry!" Van said, his eyes tearing up as he   
picked up the boy and held him in his arms. "I didn't mean to put a boo-bo-er…scar on your face."  
"Bootiful face." Dilandau corrected.  
Van nodded soothingly. "Beautiful face."  
Folken was still staring at the tiny Dilandau. "It shouldn't have…how…not supposed to…no   
idea…VAN! LOOK OUT!"  
The chibi Dilandau had pulled out a long, wicked looking knife and was inches away from   
shishkabobbing Van.   
Van quickly threw the boy onto the couch and grabbed the knife away from him.   
Dilandau pouted, crossing his little arms and scowling at Van. "Almost got 'em." He muttered to   
himself.  
Folken picked up the chibi, careful to use his metal arm in case the boy tried to bite him. He   
placed Dilandau in front of the Super-duper-shrinker-dinker-ma-bob. "STAY." He ordered, going behind   
the machine and reseting it. He pushed the button, and again Dilandau was enveloped in blue light.   
Once the light was gone, a regular-sized Dilandau stood, blinking. And wearing a shirt that was   
far too small now to cover him up fully. ((Author: Heheheh…)) He gave a little shreik and franically   
attempted to cover himself. The Dragonslayers, who had been standing there stupidly for most of this fic,   
hurriedly surrounded their leader to block him from view.  
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT VAN!!!" Dilandau screeched, quickly backing out of the room,   
the Dragonslayers still in their protective circle around him.  
Folken looked thoughtful. "That wasn't exactly what I intended the machine to do, but…" He   
shrugged. "It was certainly interesting…"  
  
  
  
Author's Notes 2: If you guys liked it enough, I'll make a couple other chapters about the effects   
of Folken's strange machine. ::evil grin:: I already have what it does to Folken in mind…heheh… Well,   
please Read and Review!!  



	2. Project Folken

Project Folken  
by Ginga!  
  
Author's Notes: Well, this is the sequel to 'Honey, I shrunk the Dragonslayer'. Hope ya like it! It's a tad...er...'ecchi', but I've been eating a whole bunch of pocky, so I have an excuse. Oh, BTW, in case you don't know, 'kowaii' is japanese for scary, 'cause Van says that at one point in the fic.  
  
  
  
Folken walked with his usual sedate pace into the room, remaining unblinking as the huge hologram of Dornkirk appeared on the screen. However, Dornkirk was doing something most strange. It appeared that he had his pinky up to his lip, and a furry white cat in his lap. *I didn't know Dornkirk was a cat person...* Folken thought, awaiting what Dornkirk had to say.  
Dornkirk cleared his throat. "Folken, the dragon's shadow blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...etc. Now, I know the one and only solution to this problem. Besides the most obvious, which would be to just blow the the Dragon to Kingdom Come. I want you to steal Allen Schezar's mojo!!!" Dornkirks announcement was followed by a loud bout of maniacal laughter.  
Folken stared at his leader. *He's lost it. After two hundred years, he's finally gone senile.* "Pardon, Dornkirk-sama?"  
However, Dornkirk was completely oblivious. His laugh would've scared even Dilandau, and that takes a LOT of doing. Shaking his head, Folken left the room. *Steal Allen Schezar's mojo? Well...allright...*  
  
  
Two nights later, the Dragonslayers returned with the said person's 'mojo'. Dilandau handed it to Folken with a disgusted look on his face. "You have no idea what we had to do to get that, Strategos." He growled, stalking off with his Dragonslayers in tow.  
Folken retreated to his rooms, intent on experimenting with this 'mojo' stuff. The mojo was cut apart, examined under a microscope, and tested repeatedly. There were no results indicating what this 'mojo' was, or why in the world Dornkirk wanted to steal it. *Hmm...there's only one thing left to do. Taste-test.* Now, Folken new perfectly well that chugging down laboratory liquids wasn't the smartest thing to do, but it was very early in the morning, and the coffee machine was broken, so our dear Folken was without common sense. He uncorked the vial that held the remnants of the 'mojo' and lifted it to his mouth. He tipped it, and the icky-icky gunk stuff slid down his throat. Immediatly, he felt a sort of shock through his body.  
  
  
About an hour later, Folken appeared in the cafeteria, where the groggy Dragonslayers were gulping down their breakfast, which looked like Cream of Wheat mixed with cow dung. Dilandau was currently scooping the last chunks of the 'cereal' out of his bowl when he felt a sharp pinch on his posterior. He whirled around to face the culprit. "FOLKEN??! How dare you touch my beautiful-OW! Stop it! OW! Folken! DO NOT pinch me there!! OW!!" Dilandau back-handed the Strategos sharply, trying to get his hand away from the Dragonslayer's leather-clad tushie.  
Folken just grinned at Dilandau. "Oooh...fiesty. Grrr baby, very grr." Dilandau slapped Folken again, and received a 'Yeah baby, yeah!'.  
Dilandau whimpered, backing away from Folken. "Gatti! Shesta! Guimel! Get him away from me!!!"  
The Dragonslayers promptly came to the aid of their leader, grabbing Folken by the arms and dragging him away, ignoring his loud protests.  
  
  
Folken finally managed to cut the straight jacket the Dragonslayers had foreced onto him into shreds with his metal hand. He grinned and sauntered out the door. *I'll find SOMEONE who can appreciate my sexiness.*  
  
Van was doing a sword routine in the forest when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. He whipped around, his stance ready. Folken stepped out from behind a tree, a seductive smile playing on his face. Van nearly dropped his sword in shock. "B-brother?"  
Folken smiled, then suddenly ripped his cape off to reveal black lace lingerie. "Do I make you horny??" He demanded, grinning broadly. "Do I make you randy baby, yeah!"  
Van stared. "Make me…what?!"  
"You heard me, baby! Randy! Horny!" Folken said enthusiastically.  
"If my understanding of that word is correct, no. You're my BROTHER." Van said, making a face.  
Folken sighed. "You just can't appreciate how sexy I am."  
"Kami-sama, he's acting like Allen." Van muttered.  
"Allen? Who's-" Folken didn't have to finish his sentence, for the blonde they had been conversing about pranced in, throwing his hair haughtily over his shoulder.  
"Hey Van! Guess what? I just scored big-time with Miller- Folken?!"  
Folken had strutted over to Allen (still in lingerie) and had pressed himself against the Knight. "Grr baby. VERY grr."  
Allen grinned. "Yeah, I know." Then he sighed. "But I lost my mojo."  
Folken laughed. "But I have it!" He fished into his lingerie and pulled out the small vial of Allen's 'mojo'. (Don't ask me WHERE in his lingerie he had the vial...) Folken handed this to Allen.  
"My mojo!!!" Allen eagerly gulped down his mojo.  
Folken blinked suddenly and looked around himself. "W-why am I here?" He looked down. "WHY AM I IN LINGERIE??!" He hastily grabbed his cloak and ran off into the forest.  
Van stared after the retreating back of his brother. "Kowaii..."  
  
  
Folken slumped onto his bed in his rooms on the floating fortress, exhausted and scared by the day's events. "Well, at least it's over now..."  
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Folken frowned. "Come in."  
Dilandau stood in the doorway, wearing a red silk robe and twirling the silk belt. "Hello...Folken..."  
"D-Dilandau? What are you-"  
"I've come to repay you for your actions this morning, Strategos." Dilandau smirked. "You've been a very bad boy..." He walked over to Folken, swinging his hips and sitting himself down in Folken's lap.  
Folken grinned. "Yeah baby, yeah!!"  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Told ya it was sick. It was the pocky!! I swear! I'm not normally this ecchi... Oh yeah, and the title, 'Project Folken', is supposed to be like 'Project Vulcan', which is from the Austin Powers movie. ^_~ Yeah baby!  
  
  



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